in vegas

i've been here since saturday morning. so a total of two days spent in this cancer filled sin oozing city.

i do enjoy the lights. if i was alone, or with friends, i feel like i would actually enjoy the damn place. but alas i am not. i am with my parents. i have to go to a cafe downstairs to get free internet cause the stupid hotel room charges $12 a day to use it from the room. why would i use it from the room when it's free down in the lobby ? stupid. there are more asians in this city within this weekend than i've ever seen in my entire life. it's really annoying because they're asian fobs. you know the kind that think they are the greatest people alive so they get the right of way for everything ? yeah. those bitches. with every intake of breath i can feel the cancer slowly growing inside of me. i have a constant headache from all of this nonsense smoke, i can't buy anything and i spent $15 to go see some tigers hyped up on god knows what [there were four of them.. walking in tight circles. wtf.] and a few dolphins that just swam around in circles. cool. to top it off, that was my $15 too. gay shit.

i'm in a really bad mood. mother blaming shit on me again. more than 3/4 of the time, it's not my fault. and 100% of the time, it's definitely not my problem. currently listening to pandora radio: underoath. on the loudest setting for both the website and my macbook. with headphones. hahaha i love all the O_O looks i get from surrounding people. sorry i suppose. i just don't want to hear about your problems. i've got enough of my own.

well today

was a waste of life.

1. ceramics "final" which i could've probably skipped and still gotten an a

2. history final which i knew i was going to fail the class anyway so i had no idea what the point of going in was.

3. macbook is being a little bitch and doing whatever the fuck it wants, as usual with all my electronics

4. asked mother to bring my birth certificate so i could get my id today since it takes forever to get it processed, she decided it makes more sense to leave it at home and go pick it up after i get out of school and go to the west covina dmv even though there's a dmv less than five minutes away from csuf. genius planning.

5. and to top it all off ? i got blamed for "planning things too late" regarding the birth certificate. what the fuck.

now i'm listening to underoath cause it was the first scream-o music that came into my head.

which is retarded to listen to right now cause since when was christian scream-o a good thing to listen to when you're in a bad mood ?

haha the fucking lightbulb just burned out.

final essay?

nah, let's post on blogger instead ? -_-

finals end on thursday. i have three more. ugh. i am a very unhappy camper at the moment. it is 2:13 in the morning and i have 42/300 words of my essay done. it's a simple essay but i can't bring myself to write the damn thing.

i added the cute guy in my ceramics class via facebook. i only convinced myself that adding him was a good idea because i needed to know what time his ceramics final was so i could figure out when mine was cause mine's right after his. but he hasn't added me. fail.

keeping this alive is so pointless. i want to edit the layout. but not now, no. it's 2:25 am now. and i am watching a youtube video. fail. blargh.

please stop

it's not happening. you're kidding yourself if you think it is.

move. on.

& that is why

ndge: "Yesterday at school a guy asked me out and I turned him down saying I would only go out with Darth Vader. I was about to say I was joking but he turned and walked away with out a word. Today as I left my first period classroom there was the guy in full Darth Vader costume and two light sabers. He handed one to me saying in a deep voice 'Will you go out with me?' Actually, I think I'll marry him. MLIA"

ndge: next time guy asks you out. you say this. he don't come back as darth vader, you do not date.

ndge: you either say darth vader or chewbacca

iKAH: LMFAO

iKAH: i prefer chewabacca

ndge: ditto :D

this is why she is my best friend.

dear best friend,

i was looking through my box of pictures and found these. i forgot about them! first two, from the day we hung out with celina and some other peeps at the mall. green pleather skirt @ h&m. then awkward hoochie clubbing gold dress at forever. i think you had boob dress. then i wanted to go to cue. idk if you can see the pix clearly. --------removed-------- last one is from guppy house with yearbook people. then i remember ditching --- to go pick you up to take you to tenren because you were upset with ------. i think we stuck one of cue pics with him on the table at tentren. you took it off your phone! i remember. haha. and that was when we had the failed missing wallet incident. haha. so embarrassing. but at least i'll never forget that day! :) i'm 99% sure you'll ask me if i got my ------- yet .. but the answers no! D: auntie is looking now. i should be sleeping. i miss you mucho! i hope you have a good day tomorrow! omgoodness. thunder storm. i'm scurred!! gewd nite! :) sorry this is just about as long as an essay. i just HAD to send this to you :D <33

i miss her so so so so so so so much.

regret

remember how everyone always says "live life with no regrets" and in stupid surveys when asked "do you have any regrets" everyone always answers "no never !" or something lame like that ?

everyone lives with regret. it's just a part of life. i regret liking him for as long as i did. there. i admitted it. is it really that hard ? there's obviously a lot more that i regret, but hey baby steps.

britney spears

omg i love her. twenty three music videos, watching all of them for memories. she is fantastic.

going to the beach tomorrow. much needed day of relaxation. not sure who i'm riding with though. possibly a bad thing -_- oh well, we'll see what happens.

school. i am slacking. and i know it. sigh.

i miss my best friend.

i won't even start

i love david choi. i'm so glad i joined the david choi forums. everyone on there is so nice (:

parentals just left for a wedding. i'm looking up thai food to order. sounds delicious .. i always order thai food. thai speciality 2. delish. so pretty much everyone left for college today or yesterday. cool. i'm not gona lie, i don't really care. haha i didn't really hang out with anyone from high school throughout the entire summer, i STiLL haven't seen some of my closest friends since graduation, and i couldn't care less. i left it up to everyone else to contact me. i've noticed that every time i ask someone out, i usually get an ohhh okay ! but then that's it. it's never confirmed or anything. whack. oh well ! i don't really mind. i've met a few cool people throughout college so far. it can only get better from here !

aha..

aha..haha..HAHAHAAHAH

wow. she doesn't understand how serious i am about this music industry thing. or maybe she does and that's why she's been trying to convince me i should change my major. i've wanted to be an A&R rep for over four years now. i have clear goals, i know what i want in life. i suppose it's rare to hear someone say that, but it's true. i'm set for LIFE. just have to let everything else happen first.

i'm content with my choice. more than that, i'm excited. please learn to accept that about me. it's not something i plan on changing.

international secret agents

i have been looking forward to this for so long. and now that it finally happened, all i can think about is the next one (:

these past weeks have been fairly intense. from starting college to trying to hang out with friends before they go off to school. not doing a great job on saying goodbye to people .. whatever.

let's just re-cap this past weekend !

friday; asi productions meeting. met some cool people i suppose. scratch that. met a cool person. named alicia i think (: too many names. i'll get to know them by the end of the year. super excited for street team. i totally want david choi, bruno mars & more like the movies to perform on campus. that'd be amazing. anyway, jocelyn came on campus to do her homework, i kind of studied .. haha more like texted the entire time. once she finished, off to disneyland !!! we decided to skip church and spent the entire day together. super fun ! i love disneyland [:

saturday; woke up freaking dead from disneyland, but had to get ready for neighbor's wedding. it was at the our lady the angels cathedral in downtown LA. super nice, but really impersonal. it was just too big. dinner at the millennium biltmore hotel in LA. delicious food, super awkward everything else. we had horrid seats where we couldn't see anything, and our table = fobs but i suppose the food made up for it [:

sunday; okay at like 2:30 i get a text from blogtv saying wongfu was doing a show then. so i decided to go on to watch, good choice. talked with kevin wu [kevjumba], philip wang, and wesley chan (: wes remembered me ! fun ! went to sleep, went to church, church was boring, went to taffy's church, went to debbie's house, went back to taffy's church, went to freaking san gabriel mission playhouse !!! :D line was ridiculous at freaking 4 already -_- but we ended up getting 2/8 of our group in early so we got seats saved. score. saw kevjumba, wesley chan & his brother + philip wang drive in. so funny, security guard almost wouldn't let their car in cause he had no idea who anyone was. HAHA some of the guys who pretty much made this concert can't even get into it. funny [: saw jolie, amy gong, scott yoshimoto, rebecca, erica, & others (: said hi to tedfu, he remembered me ! yay !

isa concert itself; FREAKiNG AMAZiNG. started with the jcpenny winner, the misery business cover girl, clara chung. she was good (: sad she couldn't perform her misery business cover, but her original song was pretty good too ! glp [gabe bondoc, leejay, passion] was up next. oh goodness x3

got to cut in the very front for the meet & great [thank you x3]

still one more day of this four day weekend ! can't wait :D

listening to

to some good jack johnson.
better together is a very well written song.

today was my student life orientation.
the beginning .. was pretty lame. but after the scavenger hunt, things got better !
well, i got excited with all the programs i'm planning on joining.
got asked to join two sororities. haha ! never in my life.

possible school schedule ..

monday: 9-11:45 class
1-3:45 class

tuesday: 11:30-2:15 class
2:30-4 gym

wednesday: 9-11:45 class
1-3:45 class
7pm prssa [public relations student society of america] meeting

thursday: 11:30-2:15 class
2:30-4 gym

friday: 11am street team [asi]

& all of this might change. i need to sign up for the radio station.
oh yeeeea ! (: not only that, i've signed up to be a student orientation leader.
if i get the job, training will start in november. so november - almost all four years if i really want to i'll have that going.
oh boy oh boy. such a busy schedule. i'm excited. ROCK CLiMBiNG ?! :D
beyondddd excited for the street team though. mmhm <3

blessing

today was a good day.

so i ended up watching the teen choice awards [against my better judgment..]
and i was disturbed to see miley cyrus perform.
well, i'm usually disturbed to see miley cyrus do anything, but this performance ..
to put it bluntly, she looked like a stripper.

reading some comments left on like yahoo blogs, someone posted "oh com'on ! this is how teens dress"

-_- i haven't seen anyone my age or younger for that matter dress the way she did in public.
maybe if they're going clubbing, but she's what, 16 ?

i've never liked miley cyrus so maybe i'm biased. but seriously, this was low even for her.



watch it ! idk why you would want to but hey, who doesn't want to see america's "sweetheart" pole dancing in a lacey bra ?!

p.s., aren't her backup dancers cute too ? let's prance around on stage in heels, short shorts & bra's on the TEEN choice awards !! yummy.

international secret agents ?!

oh my oh my. excitement doesn't even begin to describe it.

international secret agents is coming up on sept.6 !
it will be at the san gabriel playhouse
and the following artists will be performing:

wong fu productions [not exactly sure how they "perform"..]
far*east movement
glp [gabe bondoc, leejay, passion]
kevjumba [not sure how he performs either -_-]
quest dance crew
david choi
kina grannis
bruno mars
&& it's hosted by tom ngo <3 + lydia paek

it is 3:04 am. and i am currently making a poster for ISA. i hope i win, i get 2 tickets for ISA !! i don't think i will though, asians are so artistic ):

retreat was a week ago. mat pau was our speaker, and our new intern. i think he did a pretty good job. the campsite was weaksauce and my ipod headphones broke, but it's okay. i have more headphones and i got to bond with some people about the bad conditions of retreat. haha !

i'm trying a lot harder. in life i suppose. things have to get worse before they get better right ? i'm almost over that hill. i'm getting there.

i've been roaming around

always looking down at all i see.
painted faces fill the places i can't reach.
you know that i could use somebody
you know that i could use somebody
someone like you
use somebody; kings of leon

i love kings of leon. they're fantastic. perfect for some packing jams at one in the am.
happy birthday joce-y ! i hope you like the present i'll be giving you tomorrow .. glitter is not my friend -_-

i think kings of leon are underestimated. let me explain, people only view them for their singles. i mean if you think about it, most people don't even know who kings of leon are. they simply know "sex on fire" and "use somebody". the vocal range in use somebody is absolutely fan-freaking-tastic ! sigh. super jealous of their a&r.

i've been thinking a lot about nothing lately. it's all been such a blur lately. things have just been going over my head. i was more excited for a nice shade of purple nailpolish than anything else in the past couple of weeks. i'm pretty sure that's a bad thing.

"things happen for a reason" but what if nothing's happening ?

i'm too awake

for my own good. re-cap on stuff that's been going down lately..

monday was a hard day. when i woke up, my baby & the gray kitty were NOT looking good. finally decided to call the animal shelter. before they could get to my house [they ended up coming at around 7pm] the gray kitty had died. mother said she died peacefully and content. we even heard her purr a few times. <3 i wanted to hold my kitty all day. but i had to study for this retarded math course i'm in. after cynthia finished tutoring, i checked on kitties. the black one was wide awake and crying. my baby, not so well. i could tell he couldn't move both front paws. ]: parentals decided to take me out of house so i wouldn't see him, if he died. went to watch harry potter. it was kind of a let down, but it wasn't that bad. i thought it stayed fairly truthful to the book. came home & kitties were gone. found our anderson was declared brain dead. tough night. my mind was all over the place .. did not remember to turn in stupid math hw until 3:30 am. still not sure if i'll get full credit for it .. but hopefully !

and this brings us to today. took my stupid math final. i missed out on buying a toon spencer [wongfu ! < / 3], watched SYTYCD, and found out they took anderson off life support today at around 9pm. <3 r.i.p. i know you're in a better place.

too much going on in life. library tomorrow to rent all the harry potter books. goodbye outside life for the next week !

2:12 am

apparently it's 68 degrees outside .. but there's 88% humidity -_- peachy.

kittens are doing a lot better. all three of them can open their eyes. i almost forgot to turn in my math homework today ! HAH ! cynthia is tutoring me. it's really helpful. mother wishes i was smarter cause she's worried about finances. sorry. this looks like a paragraph but it's just random sentences. i feel disconnected from everything and everyone. i've barely gone out this past week. i want to go to the library. i need to return my book anyway. so many things going on in life i should be more focused on. but i don't care.

i'm constantly bored. i don't really ever want to go out. kitties are taking my most of my energy and focus. not sure that's a good thing. they will probably be out of my life soon. i really miss the first kitty. sigh. i know placing them in a foster home is a good thing for them .. but i get attached so easily. i love my kitties.

all black one opened his eyes for the first time today. [mother thinks it's a girl..] wouldn't stop crying. i think he was super confused at the tv. funny. grey & white one crawled into a towel & fell asleep for like 6 hours. i couldn't see him for the longest time & tried watching the towel to see like a heaving motion ? saw nothing & freaked out. woke him up just to make sure he was alive. baha [: my favorite cat of all, the black & white kitty. he's ridiculous. he tries to bite me all the time, but he has no teeth, and then after he does that he licks me. he's the messiest eater of them all [all being fed from a bottle] and he fell asleep with a towel over his head next to me while i was watching forrest gump. cutesy !

you're my hero

and my best friend
girl i swear you're a Godsend
love you like a ray of sun
like the very first one
when the day begins.
The One; Gabe Bondoc

miss that nword. epic fail on oovoo today with her. the first 15 minutes consisted of us screaming at each other because the sound was off. haha then attempted oovoo with scotty. that failed. he always froze and then you could only hear his voice. baha !

i was SO close to getting back into a normal sleeping pattern. then the damn bird came into my backyard. it chirps for HOURS straight. it's so annoying. i can't sleep with it next to my window. so around 5am i moved from my bedroom to the bonus room even though this room is about 110 degrees. slept for a hour and a half. moved back into my room cause i was sweating and slept until mother came in around two yelling at me about how i sleep the days away.

seriously though, it's not like i have anything better to do -_- HAHA wow. so i just found out my $225 online course is completely independent. i am paying to teach myself math through a workbook i paid $35 for. good stuff CSUF -__________-

fml

totally takes on new meaning now.
she left yesterday. goodness gracious, i miss her.

for some reason i think i convinced myself that it'd be easier going through another best friend moving. it wasn't. at all. this might've been worse because last time, the best friend made the choice to move. this time, the best friend was kind of forced into it. i don't even know what to say. i really feel like just crawling in a hole. being left alone right now should be a good thing, at least i feel like i want to be left alone ..? but last time, that was way no bueno. so i've kind of been forcing myself to go out. but i'm always in a bad mood so i don't make great company .. eh.

it's hard. really hard. after kelly left, going to school was horrendous. i used to walk with her to EVERY class. our schedules fit perfectly in that way. now that jessica's gone, it's super hard just to go around town. i can't even look at coconut bay or that entire center without tearing up. i can't go to lee's, can't think about tenren or getting asian fries. can't make random trips to the mall, can't walk down the street to get some grub. if i do anything, i want to drive the round-about way just so i don't pass her street. life's a bword.

haha, i've noticed how many things i've picked up from her. today i went to a combined birthday party, i ended up sitting next to the pool and holding out all my words. example.

friend: "so andge, what are you planning on studying next year?"
me: "communicaaaaaaaaaaationnnnnnnnnsssssssssssssssss !!!!!" [imagine this screamed in some obsenely high pitched voice]

God i miss her. oovoo-ed with her yesterday [: and today i got to talk to her on the phone. i miss that nword.





yeaaa i JUST remembered what my username and pw are for my CSUF portal thing. took me 30 minutes and a lot of like .. "forgot your pw" links. but right before i got my info, i remembered the dang thing -_- i fail.

anddd i don't know what the information is about my online class that starts this wednesday. G00D STUFF ! D:

she's got the time

she's got us figured out.
she's got the time; sound the city

i wish i had time -_-
today was orientation at CSUF. longest day of my life.
i need a day off to just unwind.
majoring in communications with an emphasis on public relations with a minor in radio/tv/film ?
let's see if i'm a part of the 30% that'll stick to their major.
i might change my minor to a minor in advertising.
that might be better considering advertising is in the college of communications ..
i'm totally talking to myself on this.
talking to myself helps me think.

kevin cruz & tiffany huang called me. i was on the phone with them.. talking to myself.

good stuff.

i suppose i am excited for college.

so flipping..

frustrated. i know i can come off as a super pessimistic jerk who only thinks about music
but seriously, is that ALL you guys see ? even my closest friends ?
i thought you knew me better than that. whatever.

recap of warped freaking tour !
got to kelly's house later than i had anticipated, & so the backstage passes were completely out of the question. [not like i really cared, meeting bands backstage isn't that big of a deal.]
saw nick mchenry & ryan elke in line (more like the movies) & got some flyers to pass out during warped.
met sound the city in line.. well they were trying to sell me their cd
haha ! they were super nice guys though. walked me to the end of the line and stayed with me till i got to the front of the gate (: cuties ! i remembered we're friends on myspace too .. [saying that aloud is so awkward now. myspace feels so dirty .. i only use it for music now.]
saw a rocket to the moon <3 FANTASTiC ! someone was smoking weed though, not that great.
in fact, it smelled a lot like weed & cigs throughout the day. only downside of warped i suppose.
saw underoath (pretty great, everyone knew the lyrics. not cool when obese people try to crowd surf. especially when they fall down & kick you -_______-), big d&the kid's table, senses fail, meg&dia, 3OH!3, a skylit drive, alexisonfire & a bunch of others i can't really remember.
ended up running into jojo (more like the movies) inside warped. he gave me more fliers & asked if i would walk around with him. so we walked around warped just kind of looking around & trying to see cds
we only sold one, but it was fun.
i ended up getting pretty bored &kelly conveniently called me as i was about to go sit down & wait for the maine set
went outside the warped tour gate & saw nick mchenry, ryan elke, & cole kircher (more like the movies) outside. started talking with them & asked if they were going to play an acoustic set cause my friend wanted to take a listen.
so we waited for kelly to arrive & jojo to exit warped. when everyone arrived, jojo, cole, ryan, kelly, martha & i went to the MLTM van (mochaaaa) &the three guys played an acoustic set for us girls
it was pretty great to say the least. the guys drove us back to kelly's car that was parked all the way across the parking lot (thanks cole.) &even though i think cole's secret goal was to run as many people over as possible, it was a lot better than walking.

so for the next time i go to warped, these are tips (mainly for myself)

• D0N'T F0RGET THE SUNBL0CK iN THE CAR -_____-
• wear flipflops.
• donate blood WEEKS before warped tour (i ended up feeling like barfing every time i took a bite of food. no perks in donating the day before warped D:)
• bring more money !
• devote at least an hour to go to every booth & look for the free stuff.
• buy a setlist / map of the venue !
• check twitter the morning of to learn the secret code word
• get to the venue at least a hour before gates open !

all in all, an amazing experience ! recommended for anyone who likes concerts [and has been to at least three please -_-]

tell your boyfriend

if he says hes got beef
that i'm a vegetarian and i ain't f king scared of him.
don't trust me; 3OH!3

aha ! i hated them live but whatever. their lyrics are amusing. so it's 1:09pm, i've been awake for two hours. accomplisments over the past two hours ? none.

warped tour is on friday. that's the only thing that i'm mildly excited about ? everything's been so blahh lately. my best friend's back in town but everything feels .. different ? and another bestie is leaving for texas in like two weeks. GAYSAUCE. [haha my printer just farted]

i remember the week of graduation, talking about how great summer will be and how much fun we'll all have cause we're all "so done with high school." i realize now, that everyone i'm hanging out with are from high school so technically we're never truley "done" with high school and that statement is now a joke. fail.

i need a life.

make a move on me baby

i cant be the one who's
always taking chances
see me down
so you get down
no you've got me all wrong
i just want to kiss your lips
and you kiss back
stay away; rooney

i love rooney. such great music. sweet, if you search "stay away rooney" on youtube and list it by view count, my video's second. good stuff.

so my shoulders are peeling like there's no tomorrow and to put it bluntly, it looks like i'm diseased. it's horrendous. but besides that, life is good. or at least minorly enjoyable. i cannot wait until warped tour .. i already got one V.i.P. pass. & warren said he'd pay for me .. yessss <3 (:

you're just a let down,

another one of my mistakes,
i never loved you anyway,
i never did and i never will...
let down; this providence

questions on my mind:
1. why do my new blogs open in edit html ?
2. how do i tell someone to go away without saying go away and without hurting their feelings ?
3. why the hell are you in my life ?
4. why am i such a disappointment to you ?
5. when will i get out of this ish ?

i swear, i've been so bitter lately. so quote of the night "i know you don't care about graduation because you're not going anywhere in life" thanks mom.

just a small town girl

living in a lonely world
she took a midnight train going anywhere..
don't stop believing; journey

i feel like i don't even have to put what title of that song is. it's such a classic. so favorite show of all time, SYTYCD is back on ! i'm so happy. there's a girl from rowland heights on there this season. weird. and devin [gah i know i spelled that wrong] is back ! yay (:

moving on, everyone's reminising about high school. truthfully ? i don't really feel sad or depressed. cause when it comes down to it, you're obviously going to keep in touch with those who matter. and even if some of them are moving far away, i don't believe in never seeing people again. i mean com'on, my best friend lives 995.80 miles away.

high school was an annoying time. obviously there were good times, but when i look at the big picture of the past four years, i didn't really enjoy most of it. maybe it's my synical nature or because i'm a "debbie downer" but i really did not enjoy high school. signing yearbooks does not make me sad, it excites me knowing that i won't have to deal with the stupidity of high school anymore. granted, college isn't much different [at least from what i've heard] but i won't have to deal with most of the stupid stuff. i'm convincing myself that in college it's a lot easier to avoid the stupidity.

what a rant. not a reminiscant, positive post at all. well, i'll end with something super cutesy and fun (:

tell me, did you fall for a shooting star

one without a permanent scar
and did you miss me while you were looking at yourself out there?
drops of jupiter; train

okay i love this song. but the gabe bondoc version is so amazing. i think it's just because i think gabe bondoc is amazing. sigh <3 youtube crush indeed.

did not go to my senior prom. D: instead i was at home most of the day. chillin' & relaxin'. good home time. ate out with the familia and watched star trek with the father. that movie .. cute boys cute boys <3

this video .. i have not been able to stop watching it. it's amazing. fanny pak & mark kanemura <3 AND whyley yoshimura [janet jackson] so so so so good. i wish i was this amazing.

oh wongfu

you have amazed me yet again. the new david choi video is great. maybe it's just cause i love david choi AND wongfu. oh well.

people are really getting to bug me. but it's so close to the end where i'm like .. i really dgaf if you piss me off cause i'm not planning on keeping in touch with you anyway. do i suck for thinking that ? mm.. probably.

school is ridiculously pointless. the only class where i thought i might actually learn something this year has been a joke. and that's almost over. one more week. from then on it's practically movie's all day in every class. sweet. retard math swears like it's helpful. i have a 92% this semester and i've been b.s.ing everything in sight. yay me.

cheers to spending $85 on gradnight. WHAT ? no. i've been thinking of getting a dland pass since i'm going to CSUF anyway [my incentive once upon a time] so why would i spend the money to go to grad-night ? besides, i'd rather hang out with family [holy shit did i actually say that?]

today was interesting. went to coconut bay with the father to watch the laker game [cheers for not having cable]. dad & i cheered for every shot made by the rockets [well, my dad mainly yelled "YO !" and i clapped.] i think this one guy in front of our table wanted to shoot us. cheers for insanely creepy dedicated lakers fans.

WTF.

i usually enjoy beginning my updates with a quote [usually song lyrics]. but today i begin with a disturbing picture ..

i can't even say anything to this. what in the heck. -_- this ad caused me to not have anything else to update. goodbye.

i wish i had the nerve

to say that i'm never coming back
it was a fight
i cried myself to sleep
for so many nights, i can't believe
that i've grown to be a boy
with nothing to my name
except a guitar and no one else to blame
try; jesse barrera

wow. prom brings out the worst in people. i'm continually disappointed and dissatisfied with life. no going into detail. i'm done.

and the stars fell out of the sky

and my tears rolled into the ocean
now i'm looking for a reason why
you even set my world into motion
black and gold; sam sparro

i am so fucking sick of this prom shit. bahhhh i am slowly but surely giving up. by the end of the week [i actually think that's all the time i have anyway] i will have given up completely and cut my losses. i'm out $60 but i guess i'll be saving over $100 ? ugh. so much stupid stupid stupid crap going on right now. even with like my guy friends. stupid crap is pissing off everyone. -_- whatever.

so friday i saw xmen & fast and furious. not bad movies. liked xmen more, but maybe it's cause there were soooo many cute guys in xmen. ahah ! the action was pretty good too. as well as the special effects. good stuff.

i don't know what the point of me blogging was .. saturday was kind of epic fail. today was .. decent. nice weekend.

it's 11:43 and i am going to sleep. boo i'm late.

over and over, baby

making me play this game
if true love waits, it's a big mistake
no need to feel ashamed
look at me (when i rock witchoo); black kids

oh my goodness. black kids last week was AMAZiNG. chilled at steph's house all day, made a shady deal through craigslist, got to see BLACK KiDS and had a super super fun time regardless of the annoying people around me. they were sooo good too. and i got to meet my favey after, owen holmes <3 i just have a soft spot for bassists ..

yesterday, sepanta & i went to go see asher roth for jimmy kimmel live. this is how it went down ..

4:00 -4:30 chilling / getting ready at sepanta's
4:30 - 5:30 cpk
5:30 - 6:30 freeway to hollywood
6:30 - 6:50 walking around hollywood & highland
6:50 - 6:53 rejected from jimmy kimmel since they moved the concert indoors [aka less room]. pissed off, make jimmy kimmel validate parking
6:53 - 7:00 walk over to where the x-men premiere was, see some celebs
7:00 - 8:00 get lost in LA, drive around in circles, get crappy directions ..
8:00 - 9:00 the grove <3 spend $4.35 on a scoop of ice cream [wtf], watch the ballas hough band [.. dancing with the stars guys..]
9:00 - 10:00 drive home.

such an eventful tuesday.

today was great too. randomly decided to drive around with tim. aimlessly. went to the bank in brea, drove down state college to CSUF, got lost in placentia, went to mocasalsa, drove home. good stuff.

moonwalk all over your face

i'm priceless, my identity crisis
you dance i dance to white disc
i got the moves to thrill ya, looks to kill ya, straight up like tequila
dance like michael jackson; fareast movement

i am in desperate need of a prom date. this is pathetic. i like how sooo many potential dates failed. oh well. we'll see what happens i suppose.

"too much drama for me mama" drama queen; family force 5

oh my this is ridiculous. fuck ! i just realized i need a picture ID with my birthday on it for tuesday. effffff .. -_-

i never though i'd be in love like this

when i look at you my mind goes on a trip
then you came in and knocked me on my face
feels like i'm in a race but i've already won first place

i never though i'd fall for you as hard as i did
knocks you down; keri hilson ft ne-yo, kanye west.

damn. i hate school days like these. yeah we get to go to school late, but fml i have to see everyone. and by everyone i mean those people that would usually leave during lunch. nope, they're stuck there. and i have to see them. every fucking day. god damn.

whatever. today was fucking blah. lunch ? three prom askings. tomorrow i was supposed to help with three. sigh. it's not like i mind helping ? it just gets tiring after a while. and really annoying cause i have this strong feeling i'm not going myself. woohoo.

it's so hard. i'm slowly getting over you, but it's not immediate. watching you with her everyday hurts.

Cause lately I've been tired and uninspired.

Cause lately I've been tired, oh-so tired.

And be strong for me.
And be strong for me.
And I'll be strong for you, oh, you.
tired & uninspired; my american heart

i really need to turn in my spanish book. i haven't been in that class all semester. epic fail (: today jessica took me out to ten ren's. i love that girl. we act like we're on drugs.. in public. it makes me happy. and even though i was an epic failure for "losing" my wallet, everything was super fun. thanks for the pick me up <3

school has become ridiculously unimportant and unnecessary. should i be worried about this? nahhh

to you: you suck ass. you think i don't know shit. i know a LOT more than you think i do. fucker, stop being a shady mofo and come out with it. i hate you (:

Go! Go! Go!

You never had the time because you move too slow
And I know, know, know
That she could care less about love
It's just for fun
I'm just another one
just another one; rocket to the moon

she is a slut. a whore almost. have fun (: i wish you two the best. you're going to kill one of the best friendships you'll ever have just to go after this thing, but woohoo !!! it's your life.

i've decided i really dgaf about prom. there's no point. i don't care that it's the "last of my high school career". all dances are the same if you think about it. so unless i find a hella fun group to go with, i'm not going.

i do my laundry at 1 am.

Mario kart skills are outrageous

play me any day and I'll be the best racist
wait no erase it meant to say racer
lark on my go-kart; asher roth

i cannot get asher roth out of my head. i'm so excited for, oh hey. tomorrow ! new record ! that's whassuppp.

so even though i want to give up, something holds me back. maybe it's cause we can have two hour conversations about absolutely nothing. maybe it's cause i still get excited when i get a text from him. maybe it's cause even though it annoys the hell out of me, i think it's cute that you say mommy. maybe it's cause i can't allow her to "win" cause i'm stupid like that. whatever the reason, i'm in it for the long haul. at least for now.

so, anyone down for venice beach on tuesday ? forget school.

donate your dollars

raise a dollar
help a mother
save a father
cause poverty is probably our biggest problem
and it ain't gonna stop with Obama
to save the world we must start at the bottom
sour patch kids - asher roth

new cd is LEGiT ! maybe i'll buy it. haha today i was talking to scott & jessica about why people blog. i mean there really is no point. who want's to read the ramblings of a high school student ?! oh well, i'm still gona update. it's time consuming.

two cheers for giving up on guys. i tend to do this a lot. but truthfully, it comes down to "i'm not going anywhere with this guy ever so why contiune flipping out over him?!" i mean i've been saying that i'm going to give up on him for a week now. and everday at the end of the night it winds up with me saying "well, i'll see how it goes". i guess i'm still saying that cause i'm talking to him right now. but whatever.

done.

I don't ever want to feel

Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all the way
Under The Bridge; Red Hot Chili Peppers

goodness gracious. it's 2:28 AM. i need to constantly remind myself that i only have a few questions left of homework. i hate school. i also need to continually remind myself that i have school tomorrow. woohoo -_-

"Anything that falls into the realism category is usually considered as somewhat negative especially in comparison to romantic or comedy. In comparison to any other category, realism is usually the genre that causes the viewer to think about what they have seen or heard. Realism creates the illusion of truth and is unaffected by the feeling of necessity to leave the viewer with a good feeling in comparison to a genre of fantasy, romantic comedy or satire"

yeah, i like what i wrote. except the last sentence, that was pure b.s. but hey, anything for AP rhetoric is (:

well you shut me down

no i won't let you go.
wowee zowee; two tongues

maxim bemis + chris conley <3 who would've thunk that max's favorite artist would be in a collab band with him ? it's good shit too. let's see .. another wasted day today. good stuff. my mother woke me up with the promise of going to brea mall. i go downstairs and she decides that she'd rather stay home. waste of life.

super cute guy, finally found him online. thank you daniel young for posting about your brother. i sound like such a freaking creeper right now. whatever.

i finally got the nerve to leave my singing youtube video's up for longer than a day. haha ! some girl said she thinks my voice is cute. on the right track i suppose. i need to find a job. or an internship. fml

the bridge is over

the bridge is over, ah ah.
under the bridge; gym class heroes (cover)

yeah a TON of people hate this version, i love it. i don't care that it doesn't "do justice" to the original. i never liked the original anyway.

God damn, spring break's halfway over. i don't know if i'm relieved. i only went out for dinner yesterday and today i'm not doing shit. i might go watch fareast movement at seven which should be pretty tight, if everything goes as planned. YES ! i love jessica diep. she just called, we're going to target. fun shit.

so this guy i like, i don't know what's happening with him. i love spending time with him, i love talking with him, i love being around him. he's a fun guy. but maybe it's me, maybe i'm just too jealous yet it's these little things that always seem to piss me off. and i'm constantly mad at him. maybe not at him, maybe it's just the situation. but i'm always annoyed at something. even though when i take a step back, i still have strong feelings for him regardless of how annoyed i am. i'm effed up.

SHIT ! remember this band ? remember when they used to look like this ? remember when nobody listened to them? remember when they were just this filipino band based in san diego that screamed? i remember when i first heard of them. by my friend's boyfriend. damn. i miss this shit.

Today, I tasted the rainbow.

By that, I mean a homeless man hit me in the face with a bag of Skittles for not giving him money. FML

HAHAHAHA i love this website. it's great for when you're feeling like shit. god damn, spring break <3>

beach yesterday was quite interesting. i don't like that girl. stick with one man please. promiscuous-ness should be a crime. day part kind of sucked. i didn't even fix my uneven tan. -_- fail. night was alright. i love random peruvian tourist children. they made my night.

today is for guppy house. if mother will let me. she opened my bank statement. no bueno. i don't know why she does that. it's my fucking account. oh whatever.

beach house friday ? clippers game saturday ? wtf is happening tomorrow & thursday ?!

you could smoke everyday of your life

but you know on the mic i'm a be more dope.
dead & gone; travis garland [cover]

i always think of witty things to say but i never have the chance to blog them. oh well.
beginning of spring break. moran actually gave us homework. good thing i wrote out most of my thoughts while he was talking. just have to re-word them and stretch them out to paragraphs. good stuff.

i love how technically, spring break started at midnight. but i've already had some super amazingly fun times.

friday: parts of this day were messed up. but the picnic was sup- FUCK I JUST SAW A HUGE ASS MOSQUITO. sorry. anyway, picnic was super fun. wish we could've stayed longer. we are so going back <3.

saturday: BAMB00ZLEEEE !!! oh my goodness. the day party, AMAZiNG. musicians never cease to amaze me. getting owned in the face [& body -_-] during all time low set, not too fun. and security guards telling me they'd get me out & then not doing jack shit about it ? not cool. but i'm in one piece, i had fun, life's good. missed out on fall out boy who i actually wanted to see them since i've been on & off liking them since 2003 &i'm never going to go watch them unless they're playing with someone else amazing yano? but ride was leaving, so i had to go. overall, very good day and besides a few minor things [ex. spending $25 on food -_______-] perfection at it's best.

sunday: today ! kind of. went to vineyard of harvest church with jessica diep. epic fail on SOME PEOPLE's part for roscoe's chicken. but whatever. finally tried out roscoe's chicken & waffles with scott & jessica. that shit's bomb. oh my <3 ethan FiNALLY got his ears pierced, went to target & spent $20 on sunblock -_____- &then jessica's house. oh my goodness i swear, every time we're together it's a flipping party. we managed to spend over a hours at dollar tree just laughing at random shit. lee's every day this week ! aha ! i love jessica

this was too long. oh well.
i'm still flipping out about that mosquito.

i don't know what's right and what's real anymore

i don't know how i'm meant to feel anymore
when we think it will all become clear
cause i'm being taken over by the fear

life's about film stars and less about mothers
it's all about fast cars and passing each other
but it doesn't matter cause i'm packing plastic
&that's what makes my life so fucking fantastic

the fear; lily allen

i'm completely in love with that song. the tune itself is oh so catchy and then the lyrics are pretty genius .. nice job.
i don't think i love anything as much as music. that's bad. but it's true. i'm such a failure -_-

so have you ever had a friend, that's pretty much always been there but you never really notice how much they care until you take a step back? this guy's amazing. thank you. the things i considered faults have become just minor quirks i'm learning to deal with (: i love that you actually take the time to teach me things instead of just making fun of me. and i love that you're a horrendous driver ! life's fun with you around.

mm.. orange juice ..

oh dakota

i know our love is new
i barely know ya
i've fallen over you
it's the way you do the things you do
that make me fall in love with you
dakota, are you in love with me too ?
dakota; rocket to the moon

i really truly love nick santino. he's adorable ! he's one of the only guys i've met that actually pulls you into him when taking pictures. cute !

so you think you're the shit. HAHA stupid whore. get out of my life and stay the fuck away from my friends. (:

i'm such a bitch. a bitter bitch at that. not good. today i was watching tyra for the first time in a while, it was about the tranny she had on ANTM aha ! but the commercial for another episode asked "if you know someone that's been flirtacious and you want to confront them, call tyra!" or something like that. i really wanted to call. hah ! i'm pathetic. but you're a man-slut !!!

tell me what's so bad

about feeling good ?
goodness gracious, ben lee is a lyrical genius. simplicity at it's best.

so i've had a bloody nose every day for the past four days. yesterday was flipping intense though, i was coughing up blood and everything.
i'm totally flipping out. i might die this week. went into the crazy dance / mosh pit at the AP tour. got knocked down once. this guy picked me up by my armpits. it was kind of awkward. BUT right after is when i started coughing up blood. um, if i have that thing natasha richardson had, i'd like to inform you all that i want to have my hair shaved off before i go into the casket (:

what if i really did die ? dang. i couldn't sleep last night. nervous that if i did, i wouldn't wake up. so i ended up crashing at four am, out of pure exhaustion. sigh.

i always feel like posting these things are pointless. like nobody ever reads them. but i know in reality people just cyber-stalk so nobody really "should" leave comments. -_- fail.