i've been roaming around

always looking down at all i see.
painted faces fill the places i can't reach.
you know that i could use somebody
you know that i could use somebody
someone like you
use somebody; kings of leon

i love kings of leon. they're fantastic. perfect for some packing jams at one in the am.
happy birthday joce-y ! i hope you like the present i'll be giving you tomorrow .. glitter is not my friend -_-

i think kings of leon are underestimated. let me explain, people only view them for their singles. i mean if you think about it, most people don't even know who kings of leon are. they simply know "sex on fire" and "use somebody". the vocal range in use somebody is absolutely fan-freaking-tastic ! sigh. super jealous of their a&r.

i've been thinking a lot about nothing lately. it's all been such a blur lately. things have just been going over my head. i was more excited for a nice shade of purple nailpolish than anything else in the past couple of weeks. i'm pretty sure that's a bad thing.

"things happen for a reason" but what if nothing's happening ?

i'm too awake

for my own good. re-cap on stuff that's been going down lately..

monday was a hard day. when i woke up, my baby & the gray kitty were NOT looking good. finally decided to call the animal shelter. before they could get to my house [they ended up coming at around 7pm] the gray kitty had died. mother said she died peacefully and content. we even heard her purr a few times. <3 i wanted to hold my kitty all day. but i had to study for this retarded math course i'm in. after cynthia finished tutoring, i checked on kitties. the black one was wide awake and crying. my baby, not so well. i could tell he couldn't move both front paws. ]: parentals decided to take me out of house so i wouldn't see him, if he died. went to watch harry potter. it was kind of a let down, but it wasn't that bad. i thought it stayed fairly truthful to the book. came home & kitties were gone. found our anderson was declared brain dead. tough night. my mind was all over the place .. did not remember to turn in stupid math hw until 3:30 am. still not sure if i'll get full credit for it .. but hopefully !

and this brings us to today. took my stupid math final. i missed out on buying a toon spencer [wongfu ! < / 3], watched SYTYCD, and found out they took anderson off life support today at around 9pm. <3 r.i.p. i know you're in a better place.

too much going on in life. library tomorrow to rent all the harry potter books. goodbye outside life for the next week !

2:12 am

apparently it's 68 degrees outside .. but there's 88% humidity -_- peachy.

kittens are doing a lot better. all three of them can open their eyes. i almost forgot to turn in my math homework today ! HAH ! cynthia is tutoring me. it's really helpful. mother wishes i was smarter cause she's worried about finances. sorry. this looks like a paragraph but it's just random sentences. i feel disconnected from everything and everyone. i've barely gone out this past week. i want to go to the library. i need to return my book anyway. so many things going on in life i should be more focused on. but i don't care.

i'm constantly bored. i don't really ever want to go out. kitties are taking my most of my energy and focus. not sure that's a good thing. they will probably be out of my life soon. i really miss the first kitty. sigh. i know placing them in a foster home is a good thing for them .. but i get attached so easily. i love my kitties.

all black one opened his eyes for the first time today. [mother thinks it's a girl..] wouldn't stop crying. i think he was super confused at the tv. funny. grey & white one crawled into a towel & fell asleep for like 6 hours. i couldn't see him for the longest time & tried watching the towel to see like a heaving motion ? saw nothing & freaked out. woke him up just to make sure he was alive. baha [: my favorite cat of all, the black & white kitty. he's ridiculous. he tries to bite me all the time, but he has no teeth, and then after he does that he licks me. he's the messiest eater of them all [all being fed from a bottle] and he fell asleep with a towel over his head next to me while i was watching forrest gump. cutesy !

you're my hero

and my best friend
girl i swear you're a Godsend
love you like a ray of sun
like the very first one
when the day begins.
The One; Gabe Bondoc

miss that nword. epic fail on oovoo today with her. the first 15 minutes consisted of us screaming at each other because the sound was off. haha then attempted oovoo with scotty. that failed. he always froze and then you could only hear his voice. baha !

i was SO close to getting back into a normal sleeping pattern. then the damn bird came into my backyard. it chirps for HOURS straight. it's so annoying. i can't sleep with it next to my window. so around 5am i moved from my bedroom to the bonus room even though this room is about 110 degrees. slept for a hour and a half. moved back into my room cause i was sweating and slept until mother came in around two yelling at me about how i sleep the days away.

seriously though, it's not like i have anything better to do -_- HAHA wow. so i just found out my $225 online course is completely independent. i am paying to teach myself math through a workbook i paid $35 for. good stuff CSUF -__________-

fml

totally takes on new meaning now.
she left yesterday. goodness gracious, i miss her.

for some reason i think i convinced myself that it'd be easier going through another best friend moving. it wasn't. at all. this might've been worse because last time, the best friend made the choice to move. this time, the best friend was kind of forced into it. i don't even know what to say. i really feel like just crawling in a hole. being left alone right now should be a good thing, at least i feel like i want to be left alone ..? but last time, that was way no bueno. so i've kind of been forcing myself to go out. but i'm always in a bad mood so i don't make great company .. eh.

it's hard. really hard. after kelly left, going to school was horrendous. i used to walk with her to EVERY class. our schedules fit perfectly in that way. now that jessica's gone, it's super hard just to go around town. i can't even look at coconut bay or that entire center without tearing up. i can't go to lee's, can't think about tenren or getting asian fries. can't make random trips to the mall, can't walk down the street to get some grub. if i do anything, i want to drive the round-about way just so i don't pass her street. life's a bword.

haha, i've noticed how many things i've picked up from her. today i went to a combined birthday party, i ended up sitting next to the pool and holding out all my words. example.

friend: "so andge, what are you planning on studying next year?"
me: "communicaaaaaaaaaaationnnnnnnnnsssssssssssssssss !!!!!" [imagine this screamed in some obsenely high pitched voice]

God i miss her. oovoo-ed with her yesterday [: and today i got to talk to her on the phone. i miss that nword.





yeaaa i JUST remembered what my username and pw are for my CSUF portal thing. took me 30 minutes and a lot of like .. "forgot your pw" links. but right before i got my info, i remembered the dang thing -_- i fail.

anddd i don't know what the information is about my online class that starts this wednesday. G00D STUFF ! D: